Throughout our lives, teachers, parents, and religious leaders have advised us to “forgive and forget.” Maybe you have heard terms such as “turn the other cheek” or “just let bygones be bygones” But to truly forgive and move forward, it is critical to understand what forgiveness actually is.

In fact, forgiving does not mean forgetting. We may very clearly remember the incident or interaction that led to our pain but overtime we choose to allow the memory to no longer have the emotional punch it once had. This is an element of forgiveness or letting go in which we recognize the pain and the impact it had on our past but no longer allow it to shape our future.

There is so much discussion about forgiveness and clear evidence linking it to positive physical, emotional and cognitive health for those engaging in forgiving. As we move towards 2026, I am finding that many people I work with are slowing down and turning inward, looking to heal some aspects of their relationships and re-connecting to gratitude. In my view, forgiveness plays an important part in this. But to be clear, forgiveness shouldn’t be confused with reconciliation. Forgiveness does not require a reestablishment of the relationship with the one who has profoundly hurt you, though in some cases of course it can. The most important aspect of forgiveness is that you do it for yourself and not for the one who has wronged you. I came across a lovely article written in Ten Percent Weekly that I want to share with you. If you find yourself struggling with the pain of disappointment and difficulty forgiving, therapy can be a wonderful and safe place to receive support.

https://www.tenpercent.com/meditationweeklyblog/writing-a-forgiveness-letter