I have had many conversations with clients of late about Mel Robbin’s Book, ‘Let Them’ An important distinction made in her conversation with Jay Shetty is that focusing on what is not in your control only causes frustration and anxiety for you and, ultimately, gives your power to others. Based on this theory, anytime something stresses you out you simply say, ‘Let Them.’ What does this mean in reality? It means let my colleague be rude to me, let my supervisor take credit for my work, let people prioritize other friendships. Now, this is not to suggest that you be a doormat but rather acknowledges that this moment already happened. So, you say ‘Let Them’ to detach, to recognize what you do not have control over, and perhaps, at least according to Mel, you might feel superior! So, ‘Let Them’ is not ‘Let It Go.’ ‘Let Them’ means you rise above someone else being rude, or hurtful, or frustrating and focus on what your response to that might be.

The harder, and too often overlooked, part of this theory is ‘Let Me.’ ‘Let Me’ centers around what I can control, which is what I do and not do, decisions I make, and how I process emotions in response to other people or circumstances in my life. The ‘Let Me’ focuses on my responsibility in challenging situations. Focusing on what other people need to do to change is focusing on what we have no control over. Let Them (and Let Me) Theory provides a way to regain your power, your energy and your happiness. Related to this is understanding that wanting the best for people or wanting them to change is beautiful. The core issue is how to focus your energy on providing them with the curiosity, compassion, space, and internal motivation to do this when they are ready.

I have attached one conversation with Jay Shetty and Mel Robbins that provides some excellent food for thought. I look forward to working with you to put the ‘Let Me’ into practice in your own life.